i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it

I cant predict the future but I know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. I wish you happiness for the future and am sorry that this man is being such a loser. But the caveat is that there are a lot of variants and factors that are not explained here that might impact whether someone cheats., Still, knowing that sexual personality characteristics and, for women, relationship factors are strong predictors suggests directions for therapeutic interventions, she said. When I suggested that monogomy was unnatural by no means was I trying to imply that what I was suggesting was factual or applied to everybody. There is no question he is cheating and possible on drugs. Good luck. He states that he talks to some of them 4+ times a day, sometimes up to an hour. All these comments are heart breaking. Available on Amazon or most bookstores Kindle or paperback! Believe me, he is feeding you a bunch of bunk. His answer was he went out of town to get her car fixed and that he spent the night at a rest stop. Confronting a cheating spouse without doing some prep work often leads to negative outcomesconstant denials, changing stories and confusion . Surprisingly, 48% say theyre missing an emotional connection at home, so they cheat on their wives. A couple days later I asked him if he was thinkin about being with someone else. We dont spend a whole lot of time together because of his job and the kids activities plus I work full time job. Constantly twisting the truth? Couldnt come up with a reasonable answer. Ok 7 months ago I lost my job my husband said they are hiring at his job so I filled out an application a few times a month I would ask him if they were hiring yet he kept telling me that he didnt see them hiring anyone that he thought that they were hiring but I guess theyre not so then I seen a temp service hiring for their job and I applied and I got the job now let me back up a little bit about 2 months ago my husband and I got in a fight he said that that was his space and that he didnt really want me working there without got my eyebrows rising because I figured there was something actually going on so when I started this job come to find out they had been hiring there was a girl there that he didnt tell me about that had been there for 3 months of course I was pissed all day long and I confronted him and told him I couldnt trust him and that he had to know I was going to find out now he tells me theres nothing going on with this girl and they didnt act like it when I was there I dont work there now and I dont like the fact my husband works there but I cant control him or the situation what my question is do you think he was cheating emotionally or physically because of all the lies he told me he tells me that there was nothing going on with her and why would he have to tell me everything I said that you deliberately lied to my face time and time again I kept asking you if they were hiring anybody new and you would tell me no please help me in this because I have looked on the internet over and over again and I cant find an answer. Help!! Even though I can see that he is trying to repair the damage that he has caused, Im so fearful of finding trust again in our relationship. But he wont. The more they know you suspect or know the more they will try and hide it and the harder it will be for them to get caught! But after 3 months I gave him another chance and because of some other personal things his mom asked me to live with them because I had no where else to go. He knows I know. He was only looking for attention and compliments. Then after that his not interested in trying again. Would you believe him again? He brought two dogs into the marriage that get more attention that I do. im only 36 and i just finally came to my senses and have left the relationship it hard scary but theres relief from lies manipulation and abuse it only got progressively worse never better. He was just trying to help a friend gain her citizenship. I dont know what to do. I asked again the next day and he said there is no one. Please advice me. He has started shaving (which he never did), brushing his teeth more, and showering at night and in the morning. Its like dealing with a child. Dont bother us with your egotistical, egocentric question of whether you should have an affair with a married man. He was force to tell his wife and the polices his affairs, his one nightstands and what he did to meAfter all this, do I regret telling his wifeNO. Youve caught him cheating three times. He wont. My advice to you would be to stop the friendship before you get into a mess youre not prepared to deal with!! Nothing against you more against them. That why he would have all them girls on his skype. Love = Woman. Please give me your insight on this. I was furious and I try confronted him and he get so angry call me names and he does want to talk to. You can be OK with or without him. This is a painful but good talk to watch: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved. Ive been through it myself. I respect privacy even at my expense. I dont understand. And ive made a couple more errors since then with other BFs. They found call logs, text messages and social media chats. Im tired of this but I dont want to give up on our relationship. And he denied it completely. We planned both of our children and as recently as yesterday he was talking about trying for a girl. What does your gut tell you about his behavior? Hi Samantha, Im really sorry to hear what you have gone through. I knew our marriage wasnt perfect, but I never would have believed this kind, gentle man would do this sort of thing. He still kept denying it and then I used a triump card which was. Tell someone! One night he was on call at the local tow company he worked for and a text message came in that he slept through. He is a hard working man, hes absolutely wonderful with my girl, he is a great provider, my family loves him, he has never hit me or tried to hurt me in any way. As someone who was cheated on, I know all too well the pain, humiliation, and, at least in my case, the feelings of worthlessness that came with it. How to Find Out the Truth. His reasoning for it was he was heart broken coz his wife cheated on him & was hurt which is what led to the affair. This just so happens to be the EXACT situation I am currently in with my husband! With that being said, I took what he said and sort of believed him. Tells me last night that our relationship is boring. Once when i was on the bus ride to meet him *im from florida and i moved to Va to be with him* in NC and with some girl of a dating website. He denies bit I know for a fact he is helping her get into the house by keeping me occupied and distracting me vivdont fall for it anymore but I do know when something is going on. I never really heard him open up about her. Although sex has never been a problem between us. So new conversation later and husband mentions her that she never sent him a photo. The fact he cheated with someone I knew killed me.. Pushing yourself to come up with answers . Samantha- I read your story. Its natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. We have the ability to grow life inside our bodies. And when i was talking to him today he told me that she was talking on the phone with her boyfriend and the she started talking about she was horny in front of my husband. We had small children at the time and I mananged to keep the family together and he changed his ways.Fast forward to 2008. He told me he secretly emailed an old friend for 4 weeks, but did not see her in person other than that one time. My husband went away on business the same weekend i took our daughters on a shopping trip, but my gut told me different. I also encourage you to book a session or two with a marriage counselor, so both you and your husband can learn tools for rebuilding your marriage. Hmmm , i find bs. I just want him to be honest. Here are 4 expert-approved actions to take when your man has cheated. Staying with a cheater continues this feeling since they already decided to fill a void that you, purportedly could not fill and you will continually wonder if and when it will happen again. When I showed him, he would respond with, well you asked for that of course she is going to hurt you because you are pathetic to even think that of me. Oh theres more way more. now that I look back on things that happened, I realize he may have been cheating on me the whole time. he s always teasing me and comparing me with other gals. I go in and check his email, I found an itinerary for a hotel room in our city. You answered your own question. The latter finding might seem counterintuitive, Milhausen said, but other studies have also found this connection. You are absolutely right! What advice would you give me to give her. All she could say that its highly unlikely that it could be anything else but there is always that >1% or freak chance that isnt documented. My prayer for you is that you are able to find strength and courage to do whatever it is you need to do will you leave? I am 44 years old we have been together for 26 years. Gone for over 10vdays. You need to make a conscious decision.accept him as a lying cheating bastard who probably wont change or deal with it however you see fit..I have a dont tell policy..I aint interested in what his up to when hes not home.but embarrass me or humiliate me in public and there will be hell to pay. The best way to find out if your husband is cheating. He also is defending her and said I dont know her so I can call her a home wrecking whore. It sounds like you caught your husband red-handed! They had communicated a couple of times because shes a drama queen and needed to make a production about telling him she was getting married and when she got pregnant. etc. Still feeling uneasy, I investigated the cell phone bill further and noticed they were also texting and sending pictures to each other. I have asked him multiple times if I was what he really wanted and if I wasnt I would be okay with it. We were young and stupid and I thought we had grown since, but I am worried he is cheating again. It is painful to believe that he may have cheated, but remember that it is not a reflection on you. Sorry if my ealier statement about husbands lying and cheat seemed perhaps aggresive. It says it is all my own problem and I need to fix it. I still do not know to this day what was worse founding out about him having an affair or what went on after he was found out. There arent any of the signs of cheating and nothing has changed between us. Its almost like he is bipolar *he is a marine and has been over seas* but that doesnt give him the right to drink or treat me like that. I didnt. This will help you take steps forward and perhaps even heal your marriage. Sometimes people make horrible mistakes and then there is of course the whole mid-life crises thing. We were friends for nearly 10 years before ever going on a date. Thats the question, bcause it seems like all men are cheaters! 7 Pros and 7 Cons of Tinder, How to Tell If A Man Is Cheating By His Balls (8 Obvious Signs), Is He Cheating On Me? I hope he burns in hell. Ive read emails and text messages my husband composed to someone. Its been quite a while since I commented on here or read anything on here. Btw. He now says he never loved me. I have had many talks with him about how this is making me feel inside. Its sad, I know. Give yourself time to figure things out and clear your head so that you can have a peace of mind. I told him I was leaving him and he begged me to stay, offered to go to counseling for a sex addiction. I hate to tell you but hes cheating. Now I am getting these emails. I cant tell if it just me being crazy hormonal or if im right. I thought my relationship for great until I found out that he was sleeping with someone that he works with. Chris if you are 4 out of 5 of these things then perhaps you need to work on yourself and be more compassionate and understanding of the confusing mixed signals you are sending your wife. What about you have you thought about talking to someone about how to cope with his cheating and lying? Laurie, youre quite sharp. I let him know. But he constantly lies to me and i know he does even when i catch him and he knows he has been caught he finds away to turn it around and make me look like the bad guy. Its normal to feel confused and get mixed messages from your instincts, because this is an extremely emotional subject. You dont need someone to tell you that you are right or acting appropriately. She was shocked, it stopped for a while. And if i have been talking to any guy friends he blows up on me. The women are also either married or in long term relationships with men whom they love; just as I love my wife. I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. Of course it is not your fault. But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. Your point is very well taken. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. Should tell me something, huh? She was very pretty she was wearing a black string binkini and had a perfect body. So if you do decide to wing it alone for a while keep these important things in mind and if you befriend the opposite sex during the separation consider them nothing more than just a friend. My last therapist said to me toward the end of one of the last sessions Tom, you already have all the answers.you just need to look within. You are to good to spend your life being lied to he has broken his vows to you on more then one occasion. We have four kids, our youngest 8months old. We all say that sex and physical contact went off a cliff after we got married/ had kids on our wives part. In June of 2010 a new Secretary was hired in his department. I went through with it anyway. We ended up meeting a month or so later and just sat in my car at this faraway park, talking for hours and hours. one day he come to my flat and i start pack my small bag i was going out so he start to questioning me, pull me i told him iam going to my fatherhouse. When he would come home, i would get the hug and I love you, then he would sleep, watch tv, or read a car magazine. I really did I was yelling screaming and hysterically crying. And i told him that alochol was just as much a drug as weed is and he and i do not see eye to eye on this. Was never really a caring parent. I eventually got over the hurt and devostation of his cheating and found our marriage was so much better than it has ever been. My problem is my husband is trained to keep secrets. Yes, I think your feelings are valid about your husbands best friend! so after all of that we worked out our differences and he moved in with me and my parents house everything was going great then bout 3months of everything going great i found out that he was going to see his other baby mama behind my back we fight argue he leaves for a week and then he comes back and everythings good for a month or so then i find out he is still lying to me about talking to his other baby mama and lying to me about doing pills and how much money he has and what he spent it on jus this last week so he kept asking me if i wanted him to leave and i told him to do what he wanted he is a big boy and guess what he packed his stuff and left now he keeps txting me saying he needs me he loves me he dont kno why he left i jus dont kno what to do i have 2 kids and i kno its not good for them to see us fightin i mean only one of my kids is his but still i dont kno what to do ne more. I know how hard it isbut staying in a marriage where you think your husband is lying to you is worse than the pain of leaving. Then just two weeks ago I had a gut feeling to look at my husband texts and found he had been texting some other girl he works with about how he fell in love with her, but her feelings werent the same, so he was giving her her space. Its not rejection, its not guilt The guy is a cheating liar. Hope for Healing Registration Soon! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. I need help and dont know how to obtain it. He brings me presents, buys me shoes and takes me out more. And what i found; all the naked pictures of her in his email, his IM on fb with more naked pictures of her in my house, pictures at her house saying if her family found out she is done. I decided to look through his mesages and the only thing I found was his friends/coworkers sending him pornographic photos of women a couple days before our son was sick. Do you think he met someone and has been having a fling, just based on that information? He does have a job that seems to have him out of the house a lot. my only regret is that I didnt smarten up sooner. S O S Please help me :(. Please help! I never would be type to look through his phone or anyones but I would do it to annoy him as he would look at mine as he knew what he had done and was always projecting his shortcoming. I was in the store for about 15 minutes or so. To my amazement he had been telling women that the only reason he was on there was to have sex. I dont understand why my husband is the way he is. You deserve to be loved! Moreover, he claims to plant false evidence on his own Google account but that it would be surely fake, as a form of retribution. Of course he is going to run to you as together you two do not have all the resposibilities of raising a family and day to day life. Its unacceptable for him to disrespect you and your children with this. The reason Ive accused him to begin with is because things just dont make sense. He came back and I thought everything was fine. Why should you ask a girl to send you a picture of herself when she has tons of them to everybody to see? But your goal is to stay calm, think it over, and make a . Well he tried to tell me indirectly that while i was a way he got into a over the net sexual afair by saying it was his friend. I actually believed him whenever he blamed me for things that were truly his fault! however when I filed for divorce everything turned against me. He is deceiving her even if he never actually has sex with her, he is making her believe that hes interested. Weve also had therapy, and he doesnt seem to take ownership or show empathy for his actions, expecting me to get over it and understand how this being out in the open looks on him. Don't berate. I feel he lied about everything. Im sorry I cant offer personal advice or help. My Mother passed away only last week and now I have this to deal with. He makes it sound like I am crazy and tells me not everything is about me! Am I crazy? Im brokenlosti bileve ,fell something is happeningcondom that i find he admitted that is hesI ask him did he sleep whit someone.He sad that he left that condom for a very long time in his working truck, so I can find and we can fight and divorce.Im in shockomg But in other hand I dont bilive what he sad 100%I never open his truck. And..he is responsible for his actions. It was like he was living to seperate lives. And Im not sure what kind of advice Im looking for but I had to share this somewhere. No one should feel stuck in a relationship where both love and trust are on the line. He went from 400 or so text a month, to almost 2000 text during the affair. I was tempted to grab his phone one night and Wala there we go clearly in IMs and phone calls. Ive been dating my bf in a long-distance relationship for 1 year. As, the more you bottle up your feelings, the more likely you are to snap and have a breakdown which is far from what you need at the moment. Then, after all these years of emotional and verbal abuse, I finally realized there was a name for someone like him. May you find renewed strength and energy, and may nurture the most important relationship in your life: the one you have with YOU. If their belly button faces the door or exit, its because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. My husband changed so much he started lying about drug use . I decided to go and attend somthing in other town for 4 months. He was secretive with his emails and phone. I am so frustrated. Lately though up until now he doesnt try to even hardly make a move to sleep with mehe never makes out with me unless we are doing it. If not then the only real other option I can see here is to get into couples therapy. No, shes not vastly insecure or had terrible experiences in the past with other men. I know has signs of cheating all over that. One desperate night, I even attempted suicide. I know that I have a lot of insecurities, and he picks on me about them. They switch out anything I buy and replace it with same brand and model hoping I wont notice. In each case it was they who made the first approach, after my habitual flirting and compliment paying didnt seem to be going anywhere; I get pleasure from simply being polite and engaging with the ladies just as my father used to. Can the lost help the uncertain & the uncertain help the lost? He came out and told me he apologized said it was only one time and he felt so bad afterwards he didnt know what to do. A text came in on his phone that read Sorry about our fight today. I thoughT i did everything slow like your supposed to in the beginning. Unfortunately, doing the right thing often involves pain, heartache, and courage! that many? It doesnt hurt that its fun. Perhaps he cheated because he felt you withheld sex; however, youre likely going to want to work at your marriage before youre intimate with him again. My husband and I have been married for 9 months now and we have a 2 month old baby boy together. He gets so fustrated for everything and talks to me as he dont care anymore. He owns his own business and ends his day at the same place before coming everyday (another womans business). but he was begging for me back the whole time telling me I was the love of his life. Second time,.. 3 days after my birthday I check his phone again, theres a picture of some girl he claims to know from the Firehouse since he is a firefighter as well. Biology makes men want to have as many kids as possible, so they cheat withas many female partners as possible. AMEN. I highly recommend it, especially if you think your husband is lying about cheating. He says he loves me, needs me, wants me but things just arent working. He too is interested in me but I do not know why he wants to even take the risk or chance of having an affair with me when he also wants to work things out with his wife in the long run (both are in counselling separately at the moment) & he has told me so. They come into the house as soon I leave and they soil the bed lenons they tear my stuff up and steal whatever they can. WE TALKED FOR HOURS EACH TIME, WENT OUT TO EAT AND ENDED UP HAVING THE BEST SEX I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. You asked someone that is like my own daughter. I guess love really is blind, its just im on a fixed income i dont make much money, I get government help, but if I leave him, How on earth will me and my baby make it? Now yes we are in love and I know he wont leave me unless I left him but we fell so hard we moved into his mothers home now honestly he is on parole so he decided to stay at his brothers back home until he was off when I first came out here we stayed in contact and 2 weeks went by his mom and sister decided to go out there because of a birthday party. For some reason knowing that it might be more emotional hurts more. THIRD TIME this morning, I check his phone and onto his facebook I go to his history and go to recently viewed pages, and what do I find, he was looking at his EXs facebook! How she would love to believe it is all in her head. How long have you been with your boyfriend? You had faith, it was broken. I confronted him that morning, he was still in bed. i dont know how to handle this anymore im broken. Can you imagine who you could be without your cheating husband, what you can do, where you could go?

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